Do your life a favor and marry a therapist. Not just any therapist, preferably a counselor who passionately desires to make the lives around them better. 

My wife, Sarah, is intentional about progress. Progress in love, contentment, faith, healing, and restoration. She’s passionate about journeying everyday life with her husband, so much so that he becomes an exceedingly better human each day. I’m not sure if compound interest applies to positive relationship experiences, but even if it doesn’t, I’m minimally about 6,400 times better because of my wife—assuming 1x for each day we’ve been together.

Case in point:

Sarah encouraged me to take our son on a brunch date on a day we’d be home while she was working. I truly believe that some of the most exciting decisions I’ve made in life are about food, and today we were quick to choose First Watch, a favorite diner of ours. Wes and I rarely spoil an opportunity to eat out. We made sure not to eat anything all morning and when we finally got out the door at 10:30 our bellies were rumbling. We weaved through the lobby crowd and approached the hostess to get the news we’d suspected. “It’ll be about 45 minutes.”

We checked out nearby restaurants, but ultimately decided that First Watch was worth starving for. Finally after the hostess’s surprisingly accurate wait-time prediction, I received a text stating our table was ready. I noticed I was irritable and anxious as we entered the restaurant. People were in our way and my son wasn’t being assertive enough. I opened doors and pushed through the crowd. We sat. Our waters, juice, and coffee arrived. With it also came reflection and self-awareness. Being hungry was not an excuse for being a jerk. 

I apologized to Wes for treating him harshly as we entered the First Watch lobby and told him how thankful I was that his mom had taught us to recognize our feelings, accept them, sit with them, and move forward with them.

This is a short and simple snapshot of Sarah’s impact on me. 

Without 6,400 hundred days spent with my loving partner, who knows what irrational response Hanger would have festered that day. I’m fairly certain it would have been internalized frustration and anger, blaming all of the circumstances we had no control over that day. Maybe I would have even blamed Sarah for suggesting we go out to eat for brunch on a holiday. How dare she suggest such a thing! 

You see, Sarah keeps making my life better.

Sarah safeguards our marriage, relentlessly. Good partners ask tough questions. Like just yesterday over dinner she asked me, “How would you define passion?” Then she followed it up with, “So what are you currently passionate about?” 

Unfortunately she’s married to a man whose response was, “Depending on your definition, I’m not sure I am passionate about anything.”

It’s remarkable that Sarah can ask peeling questions and also be so easy to be with. She prompts us to go to bed early, so we can simply read our books side by side. We take a lot of walks through the neighborhood together, so much so that neighbors joke that we record a street blotter.  

The words on this screen don’t do her justice, so If you ever get the chance, ask Sarah what she thinks of the weather. You won’t end up talking about the weather and you’ll be thankful for the dreary winter day that gave you a life changing conversation starter.

(For the record, I did not write this in hopes that Sarah will approve my purchase of a new golf club. Although if this piece does produce a driver or putter, every look at that new golf club would be a testament to the abundant ways she makes my life better!) 😉